what am i thinking?

mio dio nordico

one single true word: it is...
i want so much to...COME BACK -
i want
to be with you -
i love you -
if you listen to this -
you will prove
your courage and sincerity...
but I LOVE YOU...
I KISS YOU
and
we'll see each other
AGAIN...

the bitter sun...

of late,
words escape me -
and i am bound
to borrow those
of another
whose heart i know
is broken like mine...
how did we come to this -
why could we not forget right
forgive ourselves
save ourselves
each for the other...
why do we each now
have to suffer the loneliness...
suffer the sorrow

of being apart....

but

truly
i have wept
too much!
the
dawns are
heartbreaking -
every
moon
is
atrocious
and
every
sun
bitter!

kissa my hand...

love separated...

Ever has it been that
love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation -

gibran

dream-world into reality...

“Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream-world into reality.”

lovers...

the lost mistress...

All's over, then: does truth sound bitter
As one at first believes?
Hark, 'tis the sparrows' good-night twitter
About your cottage eaves!

And the leaf-buds on the vine are woolly,
I noticed that today;
One day more bursts them open fully
—You know the red turns grey.

Tomorrow we meet the same then, dearest?
May I take your hand in mine?
Mere friends are we,—well, friends the merest
Keep much that I resign:

For each glance of that eye so bright and black,
Though I keep with heart's endeavour,—
Your voice, when you wish the snowdrops back,
Though it stay in my soul for ever!—

—Yet I will but say what mere friends say,
Or only a thought stronger;
I will hold your hand but as long as all may,
Or so very little longer!

THE LIST...

want me
feel me
taste me
believe me

heal me
heal thyself

find my sanctuary
enter my sanctuary

cross the line cross the bridge fear not
know that i know understand that i understand
seek solace find peace take comfort

come with me out of control come with me
come with me into the chaos
through the ambivalence
into the LUSTLIGHT come with me

suck my binkie
share your candy with me

taste my sweat dripping into your mouth
feel my heartbeat through your hairy chest
lie full length taut cheek to cheek

think of me day and night and day

grip my neck with your teeth
suffer my sweetness bear the pain of joy

feed me your honey drink my wine
quench my thirst satisfy my hunger

hear my voice say my name in your dreams
kiss away my tears

let me be me
let me be me responding to you
be you
be you responding to me
just be

whisper my name shout my name

like a light bulb turn me on turn me off turn me*

bite me till i bleed
shout your sounds feel mine

feed my soul put some suga' in my bowl**

feel my heartbeat with your cheek

come away with me in the night*
be with me on a rainy day

feel me over you under you feel me
burn my flesh with your hands
heat me with your fire wash away my fever
make love have sex want more

race my heart drive me to the brink ride my heat

be happy be in the moment be wanted be you

seek and find
worship at my alter

smell my sweat feel my thoughts
wound me with your mouth
wear my bite marks
bear my legs around you

make my heart smile
hear my heartbeat with your eyes

tease me taunt me tease me taunt me
then devastate me at your leisure

sing me your song
wrap my heart in your clover
breathe my desire smell my flower

hear my tears that are not wept
know the words that are left unsaid

remember our past life
cherish this LIFELOVE
find ME in our next life...

take this kiss of mine...

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

edgar allan poe, poem
roya, artist

yumyum...

thou
art
to
me
a
delicious
torment

this place of you...

There's this place in me
where your fingerprints still rest,
your kisses still linger,
and your whispers
softly echo -
It's the place
where
a part of you
will forever
be
a part of me -

pliny the younger to his wife calpurnia - c. AD 100

You say that you are feeling my absence very much, and your only comfort when I am not there is to hold my writings in your hand and often put them in my place by your side. I like to think that you miss me and find relief in this sort of consolation. I, too, am always reading your letters, and returning to them again and again as if they were new to me--but this only fans the fire of my longing for you. If your letters are so dear to me, you can imagine how I delight in your company; do write as often as you can, although you give me pleasure mingled with pain.

napoleon bonaparte to josephine...love in a letter...

December 29, 1795

I awake all filled with you. Your image and the intoxicating pleasures of last night, allow my senses no rest.

Sweet and matchless Josephine, how strangely you work upon my heart.

Are you angry with me? Are you unhappy? Are you upset?

My soul is broken with grief and my love for you

forbids repose. But how can I rest any more, when I yield to the feeling that masters my inmost self, when I quaff from your lips and from your heart a scorching flame?

Yes! One night has taught me how far your portrait falls short of yourself!

You start at midday: in three hours I shall see you again.

in three hours I shall see you again.

Till then,

a thousand kisses,
mio dolce amor!
but give me none back
for they set my blood on fire.

love that never dies...

I never knew how long a day could be
It was winter and the sun was shining
Beyond the shadows I could see
It was winter and the wind was blowing

Love never dies
I know that true love never dies
The seasons end
And time moves on
But true love never dies

I look at a picture I took of you
Now it's winter and the color's fading
I just sit here while the wind blows through me
No matter how hard I try
Can't stop this feeling

Love never dies
I know that true love never dies
A day comes to end
And time moves on
But true love never dies
True love never dies
Never dies

Now I don't want to be wanting you
It's been three years and my heart's still crying

Love never dies
I know that true love never dies
A day comes to end
And time moves on
But true love never dies !
True love never dies !
Love never dies
Love never dies
Love never dies...

my fate...

my

fate
was
sealed
the
moment
your smile
touched
my
heart

i think of u...

i'm thinking of you today
but then i think of you every day
i think of you every day in every way
what am i to do
for want of you...

napoleon and love...

What can

satisfy
the needs of a

smitten heart,

which longs to

throw itself

at your feet,

but is held back

by the weight of

serious considerations,

paralysing its

keenest desires...?

[napoleon to marie walewska]

like napoleon, i, too, long to throw my smitten heart...

il mio
splendido
dio nordico,
i, too,
long to
throw
my
smitten heart
at your feet
but am
held back
by the






constraints
of "serious considerations"...

i had thought perhaps the days
passing into weeks,
the weeks into months,
and months into more
would lessen my thoughts
of you -
but that seems an oxymoron -
as if my heart
could beat less....

THE F WORD...

- feeling forlorn forgotten forsaken friendless -

what about you
what about us
where are you
where are we
where is our sanctuary
sadly,
i know the answers
to all these...

THE HEAVENLY EMBRACE...

LOVERS EMBRACING IN MARBLE...

LOVERS EMBRACING IN DEATH

3000 BC/found 02/05/2007

The Stone Age skeletons of a young man and woman were uncovered during digs in Valdaro, an area not far from the central Italian city of Mantua. The man probably died first, say experts, while his companion was sacrificed or chose to die in order to remain with her partner in death. The pair, who have been nicknamed 'the lovers of Valdaro', were buried opposite one another, lying face to face. When archaeologists discovered them, their arm and leg bones were still clearly overlapping, showing they were iaid to rest intertwined. The double burial is drawing widespread attention as it is unique in northern Italy. The only comparable discoveries have been family burials. However, in these, family members are usually laid in parallel lines, with the exception of one woman found clutching her baby. The skeleton on the left, that of the man, had a flint arrowhead at the height of his neck vertebra. The woman's body on the right was found with a long flint blade resting between her thigh and hip bones. Experts believe the weapons may either have been buried with the skeletons as a kind of funeral treasure or, more ominously, may have been the cause of the pair's deaths. They were discovered in an area spanning around 15,000 square metres, which has been under excavation for the last two months. Experts are unearthing the remains of a vast, Roman country villa, complete with baths, pipes and defensive walls with buttresses.

passion and penance...

"He took it up, and found himself plunged in an atmosphere unlike any he had ever breathed in books; so warm, so rich, and yet so ineffably tender, that it gave a new and haunting beauty to the most elementary of human passions. All through the night he pursued through those enchanting pages the vision of a woman who had the face of Ellen Olenska ."

"The longing was with him day and night, an incessant undefinable craving, like the sudden whim of a sick man for food and drink once tasted and long since forgotten. . . He simply felt that if he could carry away the vision of the spot of earth she walked on, and the way the sky and sea enclosed it, the rest of the world might seem less empty."

"His whole future seemed suddenly to be unrolled before him; and passing down its endless emptiness he saw the dwindling figure of a man to whom nothing was ever to happen."

"'What's the use? You gave me my first glimpse of a real life, and at the same moment you asked me to go on with a sham one.'"

the real reality...

I think we should look at reality, not dreams.

I just want us to be together!

I can't be your wife - Is it your idea that I should live with you as your mistress?

I want... Somehow, I want to get away with you... and...
and find a world where words like that don't exist!

life and dirty mistresses just this once...

Meredith: What are you still doing here?

Mark: I am hoping Addison shows up.

Meredith: You are still in love with her?

Mark: You are still in love with him.

Meredith: She won’t show, you know. He’s not the kind of guy who leaves if he can help it.

Mark: What if you were wrong? What if just this once, life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?

"Who ever loved

that loved not
at
first sight?"

all we leave unsaid...

i know you
will guess
all
i leave unsaid...

LOVE RELINQUISHED...

You couldn't be happy if it meant being cruel.
If we act any other way
I'll be making you act against what I love in you most.
And I can't go back to that way of thinking.
Don't you see?
I can't love you unless
I give you up.

love unfulfilled life unlived