the thought of you...

the thought of you
possesses and caresses my heart
how could it be that we had to part
leaving us both broken and blue

the thought of you
torments and tortures my soul
how could it be that time took its toll
making its way long overdue

the thought of you
teases and taunts to my core
how could it be we had to say no nevermore
leaving forever shut loves sweet door

but not

the thought of you ~

and i feel it still...

 















in the silence of the stars

spilling from the skies
in the blue indigo of your crying eyes

in the crimson tide of time stood still
when of my own free will

i turned and walked away
that cold dark day

i felt the sound of your heart break
when our love i did forsake

and

i feel it still

...........................................................................

and now?

and what of you when she went away

when she slipped from view that cold dark day

did a part of her remain perchance

remnant of your swirling shadow dance

and what of you when she came back not

when she slipped from you in a loose lover’s knot

did a piece of her lodge in your heart

remnant of your mind’s work of art

and what of you now since she’s been gone

when with her she took your brilliant dawn

and what of her since she slipped from sight

when with you she left her beloved night

and what of her since she went away

when from you she left ‘fore judgment day

and what of you

and what of her

now

now

that she’s

gone

and

you're

both

all

alone

what of you

what of her

.

.

.

your words...

your words
somehow 
have slipped 
into my own shadows 
capturing all that is there
including the tears

then love me here...

if you cannot love me there
there
in the land of life and breath
then love me here
here
in the land of indigo blood
and velum flesh

here
where your caresses
scorch this parchment skin
here
where your lips
meet mine in crimson slips
here
where words unspoken
are screamed in paper dreams

here
on this paper
where the ink flows
like the rivers run
to my heart

 

here

love unlived...

you penetrate my dreams
permeate my silent screams
and glide into the ancient streams
                    
where love holds always your invite
and darkness holds its secrets tight
but like the wind regrets take flight

what has happened to my sight
did vision die without the light
and leave me now to this sad plight

nothing is as it seems
nothing left to redeem

when will it ever end
when will it ever end

never
he whispers
never

ever.

i surrender...

i have fought far too long
etching memories into my heart
storing them safely
to take them down from
the shelf of what was
to hold them still to caress them
to sniff the fragrance of their time
a time when life was
when love was
when i was
when we were
fearing life unbearable
without the flavor of their reality
i have fought far too long
keeping them alive
keeping them at the surface
of the waters of my mind
where they could remain forever
cellularly connected to the me of me
so that my soul might still survive
the dankness and darkness of
the nothingness of now
the now without you
the now without us
and therefore, the now without me
for what can remain of me
when that part of me that
completed me is gone
is no longer with me
no longer beside me
no longer in me
leaving this
nothingness of now
this absence this void
i have fought far too long
yes, it is true
so now - now -
now - i surrender
i surrender me
i surrender all that was
all that could have been
that should have been
that never can be again
i surrender all
else how might i go on
how might you continue
each not living while alive
each choosing death by life
so i surrender
to love to passion to life
i surrender to us
i shall choose to live
for us both
you there and me here
smiling for what was
weeping not
for what cannot be
yes, i surrender -
i surrender to the
magnificence of now

the magnificence

the now
of love’s holy memories

livin' and driftin'...

livin' a life of what never can be

driftin' alone in a storm tossed sea

thoughts of you all that i need