the taste of raindrops...

in sweet sleep
the soft rhythmic splash

of raindrops

trickled into her thoughts

like the

taste

of

him

the compass...

wandering
wondering
pondering
plundering
lost and alone
faded and fallen
disowned unknown
yearning
longing
craving
not yet known
not yet found
gone
but never had
absent
barren
nonexistent
missing
missing me
missing you
missing us
wanting
needing
waiting
seeking searching
 
the foggy roads
  crooked paths
  raging rivers
the mist the miles
by love’s grace
all led but one place
toward my fate
 
one look
and
i was found
 
one touch
and
i belonged
 
one kiss
and
i was home

the dance...

come to me

come with me

                                                               out of control          
to the chaos                      
through the ambivalence                             
into the lustlight        

come

terra incognita...

she had become homesick

for something quite unknown

something unfamiliar something she seemed

to have known to have felt to have been

some other time some other place

but when or where remained a mystery to her

what or who it was she could not remember

an agnogenic condition for sure but homesick she stayed

and so it was that her nostalgia grew

as did her yearning for that something missing

not complete not whole she could not quite grasp

sadness coupled with longing soon turned to despair

longing for a thing she could not even name despair for a thing unknown

the more she tried to remember to surrender

to the mist of her faded memory

the more embattled her soul

as if some stranger some trespasser

a foreign interloper had quietly and stealthily sneaked

into the deepest recesses of her self

and plucked and plundered till there was no more remaining

no more indeed not even a drop

of what was of what had been of what should still be

that obscure something for which her melancholy grew

and which soon twisted into a weariness begging for resignation

resigning herself to lost recollection to lost recognition

nothing could salvage what was not there

nothing short of divination

and so in her abject morbid meditation

as she sat staring into the nothingness of her days

something caught her eye

an illusion almost an image a manifestation

of something but of what

what was it that she saw there

staring back at her from the other side

slowly ever so slowly she began to see what was

it began to take shape to become -

that something she could not name

began to blossom to grow to regenerate

the skeletal pieces came together

blanketed by a soft pink flesh

under which she could feel

slowly but surely beating - her heart

she glanced furtively upward directly into the eyes of -

of that something she was missing

that she had almost forgotten

that she had nearly lost

the eyes of herSELF -

and then she saw not just the pieces but the whole

the thing for which she had become homesick

the thing unknown unfamiliar

it was her - 
without
him

the pretenders...

the day they met
how could she forget
she’d found him in the phone book
the sound of his name drew her like a hook
she would say the words aloud
wrapping each in a mystical shroud
letting the syllables linger on her lips
tasting their softness like a lunar eclipse
she wondered of the spell they seemed to cast
the likes of which were unsurpassed
and so she waited debated over and over
carrying his number like a four leaf clover
then came the day she could no longer wait
she dialed his phone and sealed her fate
he did not just walk into the room
oh, no, he stormed into her life like a sonic boom
his passion striking with the speed of sound
and from that moment their love was bound
their fire and love did them enslave
merging and igniting their own shock wave
when they were together nothing else did exist
nothing mattered at all save their sweet kiss
their other lives became the means to an end
possible only for the life of pretend
and so it went moment by heated moment
one surrendered one stolen without a hint
or so they hoped or so they thought
but what if their ways would have them caught
and innocents would suffer at their hands
this her loving heart could not withstand
it would never be him to make the break
it was for her to love forsake
she tried once and then tried twice
but unable to leave she paid the price
until the day she knew had come
it was now or never or both succumb  
with heart so heavy she made her way
to tell him goodbye on that sad day
her words struck them both like an icy death
neither able to speak or get their breath
they stood embraced in disbelief
unable to grasp the depth of their grief
their tears a river would make
they tried to be strong for the other’s sake
whispering their love in sobbing quivers
knowing their lives were now mere slivers
of what they had cherished for such a short time
a love unknown by most true love sublime
but coming not in fate’s right time

she thinks of him now she thinks of them
and neither their time nor their love does she condemn
nothing in their lives really has changed
their hearts remain faithful their bodies estranged
their other lives again the means to an end
possible still with the life of pretend

the west texas dust storm kinda love...

i want me some

west texas dust storm

kinda love

                    plowing

                    pounding

i want the kind that                           

rams into me like
a gale force wind

comin’ in 
striking me with

all its fury

knocking me out

of my arid reality

penetrating through

the outer layers

past the buffers

in between                   

                    plunging

                    puncturing

i want the kind that

shows no clemency

movin’ me

in ways inexplicable

entangling my hair

stinging my eyes

stirring my heart

ripping my soul apart

ramming deeper and deeper

grinding down and round

oozing into that deep dark

core of no return

                    penetrating

                    permeating                   

i want the kind that

drives the gusts

of love unbridled

transporting me from

the lifeless illusion

and hard dry surface of

my existence

suspending me in time

eroding all of what was

depositing what is into

the lush oasis of love

unknown before

                    piercing the heart

                    piercing the flesh

                    merciless

yeah, i want me some

west texas dust storm

kinda love...

                    electrifying

                    death-defying

the hope...

hear my tears that are not wept
        this the only hope she kept
know the words left unsaid
        for to another was he wed

the jewel...

she crept through all the motions
casting aside her burning emotions
day after day and night after night
fighting her cares with all her might

she dressed for the eyes of others
tho she’d clothe not at all given her druthers
shimmering gown and sparkling jewels
all adorned for the judging fools
   
if only they knew what they could not see
for deep down inside was a screaming banshee
but what could they know of love so true
which to them was only a torrid taboo

and so it was that she went moment by moment
pretending without a hint not even a glint
living a lie lying to live unable to forgive
her heart breaking bleeding like a sieve

passion unbridled soul on fire
all for a love she n’er could acquire

freedom of the fence...

fence

barrier

barbwire

split rail

envelop

entwine

hold

open plains

circle round

climb over

climb under

gate open

never locked

open wide

shut behind

leave any time

no one in

only us

free to go

free to stay

free to be
need to be

free

society's compound...

its fence did not me confine 
it did not me bind
          lock in - convention 
it did not contain
it did not me detain
          keep out - conduct 
it did not control
it did not me enroll
          lock out - conform 
it did not conquer
it did not me defer
          keep in - correct 
it took not its toll
nor did it take my heart or my soul

the fairytale lake...

there once in heaven was a maiden fair

with deep brown eyes and long dark hair

born on the moon to the molten sun

her life on earth just begun

when there she met a man of stone and ice

with snow white hair and cold blue eyes

who lived afar in the vast frozen land  

neither sun nor heat could thus withstand

but in his eyes she saw the key

to the shackles of all to set them free

from his barren heart and her fiery fate

together they trekked to the glacier’s gates

and there made camp on an alpine lake

with temperate climes they could partake

and so they found the way to love long lost

in a land of warmth and a touch of frost   

THE LOVERS'...

 embrace

  the searing heat
of passion
  burning coals
of desire
branding love
with its fire
 

the waning moon maiden...

she was the moon maiden

and like her waning crescent cousin

poised in the heavens

so too was she losing a part of her self

now that she was without him

him - her star bright

in her dark dreary life illuminating enlightening inflaming 
him - never wandering weaving wavering

him - always constant changeless continual

unlike the other sky warriors 
cycling circling round and round

but there came one day the time of eclipse

when the blackest black reality

blocked her vision of the brightest of them all

and she knew in the shadow of that moment

what she must do

she had known all along but could not find the strength

to do what had to be done

the dreaded time drew nigh

time had run its course 
and so it was that the

beautiful moon maiden

followed her fate losing her shape

and disappeared into the midnight hour

not to be seen till the faint light of morn

never again to be seen by her own starlove

now only a crescent sliver of her glorious self

without him

the speculum...

she gazed into the hand held mirror
but herself no longer could she see
she drew nearer and nearer
and still herself she could not perceive

for there, there in the silver speculum
deep inside her outreached palm was an image
so chilling she almost succumbed
staring back at her from his metal cage

piercing her heart from another time another place
exposing love long since tucked aside
in the dainty fingers of her past she held his face
the face of all held holy still and her thoughts collide

into the knowledge that she could no more part
with the vision of this, this reflection of her fate,
than could she divest herself of her beating heart
breaking as it was for her beloved soul mate

together...

when they were together
no voice need pass between them
their eyes said more spoke louder than mere words
furtive glances
criss-crossed the room like swords brandished
and touches left untouched
bore down upon them with the weight of their own world
their hearts beat in pounding rhythm
tearing apart the deafening silence around them
when
they
were
together

la pensée...

the thought of him

fit her like

a second skin

there was no

beginning

there was no

end

the dark and dangerous...

he found her dark and dangerous
but how or why she did not know
was it 
his own closed mind
his own blinded black soul
his own bitter brittle heart
that found her dark
that found her dangerous
did he not know that from the
smoldering magma that was her
grew the magnificent transvaal daisy
raising its glorious red orange head to the heavens
the flower that was sunshine here on earth
did he not see that from the
smoldering igneous rock that
was her soul
spewed forth the shimmering steam
that with its incandescent mist dropped beauty all around
did he not feel that from the
erupting firey flow

that was her spirit
came a burning river of passion
channeling its way to his own
he found her dark and dangerous
but how or why she did not know

could he not see

her soul
her spirit
her core
were
all
aglow

she stayed...

there was nothing

she did not shrink

that he could tell her

his words did not deter

that she did not

he was her lot

already know

her love she did bestow

and yet she stayed

for his love she had prayed

she
was not

afraid