unfulfilled love - unrequited love - love relinquished - life unlived...

we all are gypsies of a sort wandering traveling through this life other lives space and time here there and yon on roads less traveled - this is a written and visual journal of my own travels - imagined and/or real - come along with me - we'll dance among the stars under the sun and over the moon - we'll share our stories of love around the campfire - come along -

poetry from the heart...


POETRY FROM THE HEART - my own words dedicated to all the words left unspoken, the acts left undone - the love unlived unfulfilled -

i dance with you...only in dreams...

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Thursday, January 7, 2010

i surrender...



i have fought far too long
etching memories into my heart
storing them safely
to take them down from
the shelf of what was
to hold them still to caress them
to sniff the fragrance of their time
a time when life was
when love was
when i was
when we were
fearing life unbearable
without the flavor of their reality
i have fought far too long
keeping them alive
keeping them at the surface
of the waters of my mind
where they could remain forever
cellularly connected to the me of me

so that my soul might still survive
the dankness and darkness of
the nothingness of now
the now without you
the now without us
and therefore, the now without me
for what can remain of me
when that part of me that
completed me is gone
is no longer with me
no longer beside me
no longer in me
leaving this
nothingness of now
this absence this void
i have fought far too long
yes, it is true
so now - now -
now - i surrender
i surrender me
i surrender all that was
all that could have been
that should have been
that never can be again
i surrender all
else how might i go on
how might you continue
each not living while alive
each choosing death by life

so i surrender
to love to passion to life
i surrender to us
i shall choose to live
for us both

you there and me here
smiling for what was
weeping not
for what cannot be

yes, i surrender -
i surrender to the
magnificence of now

the magnificence the now
of love’s holy memories

14 comments:

The Abbot said...

Another Tarot Card image. Beautiful words and image....the sound of the sea in the background and a mournful harmonica.

GYPSYWOMAN said...

i can hear it now, trevor - the sea and a harmonica! wonderful, beautiful! thank you!!!

Gingeyginge said...

Lovely post, but the sea sings better with the harp

GYPSYWOMAN said...

ah, gg - a different sound, for sure, and exquisitely beautiful! seems i might should have installed a bit of music notes here! thank you very much! great idea!

staceyjwarner said...

sweet surrender...the word surrender calms me and brings peace...beautiful poetry, my love.

much love

Gemel said...

Seems like we are feeling the same... beautiful post...

GYPSYWOMAN said...

thank you so much for your inspiring words, stacey! yes, there is something about the word surrender, isn't there! something almost tangible!

GYPSYWOMAN said...

hello again gemel - thanks so much for coming by - it's always good to have company in our feelings!!! :)

Nevine said...

And I surrender to coming back and reading these drippings of your soul, Jenean. How beautiful the memories, and how tenderly they keep us, when they are our only sweet company. Have a lovely weekend!

Nevine

GYPSYWOMAN said...

hmmmm...the sweet company of our heart, anyway! and you, nevine, have a wonderful rip-roaring texas weekend!!1

Deb Kirkeeide said...

this is very beautiful and as always, touches a part of me in a deep and knowing way.
I agree The Abbot - a harmonica! But then I am partial - my Dad plays one beautifully. (And they are also referred to as a harp!)

GYPSYWOMAN said...

thank you so much deb for your always touching notes - i am so happy if my words touch anyone in any way at all - i'd forgotten about the harmonica being called a harp, as well! but it is! i grew up playing "with" a harmonica which i loved [and still do] - and i've always made sure my children and now grandchildren have one too!

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

Damn. I am humbled.

GYPSYWOMAN said...

and i, trish, i am humbled by your words - for which i truly am thankful!