heart’s so full
of dark gray clouds
got me in its pull
wanna scream out loud
but sound don’t come
to a heart heavy as mine
thoughts turned numb
stayin' alive just to pine
seems the skies above
feel the same bleak way
weepin’ my loss of love
drippin’ sadness night and day
rains come down
deep into my soul
so ‘fraid i’m gonna drown
and it stings me so
trickles down thru my flesh
strippin’ ‘way all that’s left
leavin’ nothin’ but an empty mess
like a sneaky sinister theft
winds of despair
leavin’ my mind tossed about
can’t rebuild can’t repair
this crimson vessel full of doubt
8 comments:
For once, Jenean, I won't add anything. Your words are heavy today. This is life, as long as you remember that it is absurd and that God is a human invention.
My own heart is heavy with the misery I saw in others this morning. Dignity in despair, it wrenches your heart.
I added a comment in one of your preceding posts though. A bizarre one, I do not know if you are conscious of this, and I am sure that nobody noticed!
Hisself
hmmm...heavy words today, hisself - yes, but only here in blogland - actually, my spirits are quite uplifted - the sun is out and the sky blue all day so it's been a gorgeous reprieve from the white cold - i take it you were out and about yourself, then, or perhaps on the global tube, when you saw those souls about which you speak with such sadness - i know - i know - it does wrench one's heart - thank you for sharing -
of your other comment, i did not find it bizarre at all - rather, extremely nice -
It seems the weather of past days has left you feeling "cloudy" Jenean. But your words are, as always, so beautiful. Dark words haunt me, always, as you know. And your words do haunt!
Nevine
A lot of your post leave me with a feeling of sadness....Kerouac, James Dean walking in Times Square..I feel I am walking out of here...walking the blues.
A definite sadness in a proportion of your posts.
I can hear the wailing harmonica in the background when i read them.
Sorry...I am just an old beatnik.
Beautiful. See what cabin fever produces??!
nevine, you know, it's true, i feel haunted most of the time, and have all my life - but aren't we all? haunted? haunted by someTHING or someONE or by ourSELF? from this life or maybe another life - but threads trailing along with us still - leaving a legacy to be told - to be woven into words? i think so - and i've always been aware of mine - my threads - waiting to be woven into words - and here seems to be where the weaving is done - and the display for all to see ;)
oh, goodness, to even be mentioned in the company of these greats - kerouac and dean - i'm speechless - and humbled, trevor - but - as to the sadness, like i said to nevine above, perhaps it is true for me, the haunting - the sadness - the walkin' the blues! i've walked those blues most of my life so i know the neighborhood well - the dark empty streets with the harmonica wailin' from the shadows blues! and that's what this blog is about - all the unfulfilled, the unrequited, the unlived - all those "un's" -
and on the beatnik thing, well, that makes two of us - so, just sit a while here, have a sip of whatever - inhale the words - feel the blues -
trish, your words always leave me so humbled - your words i pick off the screen, feel in my hand a while - and tuck away in my little "cherish box" so i can take them out again on another day - thank you!
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